You’re the kind of person that plays games on the hardest difficulties, no matter how much you die along the way. Unfortunately, everyone sees through your tricks and it annoys you just as much as it annoys them. You don’t want to be that guy that asks everyone to switch games, though, so you main the character with the most high-pitched, annoying voice in hopes of discouraging everyone. You’d rather be playing Tekken instead of Guilty Gear. Granted, that didn’t really happen, but you wish it did. Playing him reminds you of simpler days, when you drove for hours on end listening to Country music. You just saw this suave mofo and thought, “Yup, that’s who I want to play as.” ![]() You didn’t really want a main, since you’re playing this more casually compared to your friends. (Johnny drawn by Larxinostic, and Zato-1 by me!) People don’t say anything, because they’re too scared to confront you. Your MP3 player is filled with covers of Evanescence’s “Bring Me To Life.” You really like Kingdom Hearts and keep shouting “COME GUARDIAN” when summoning Eddie. You keep a secret altar in your room dedicated to The Order of Edge.ĭante is thy lord, Zato-1 is thy saint and Shadow the Hedgehog is thy prophet. As such, you’re most likely the most huggable person in the room. Not a single victory under your belt, online or offline. Unfortunately, you always ends up dropping the ball at the most crucial moment. You’re the underdog everyone in the room roots for and while you play a fast and frail character like Chipp, you don’t make a big deal about it. You wish you could be king, but alas, democracy stands in the way. You are always wearing the most extravagant clothing no matter where you go, choosing the most expensive food at the restaurant no matter how foul it sounds. You’re definitely a believer in style over substance. “See guys? I’m totally over that demon,” you tell them, while secretly purchasing character skins for your inevitable return to League of Legends. When everybody around told you to stop playing MOBAs, you found a way to technically do that by playing this character. You’re a crafty individual, I’ll give you that. It doesn’t work, but she smiles and leaves nonetheless. Sometimes, your mom gets very concerned about you and you try to explain that these characters are really twenty-two, so it’s okay. You have a collection of the finest loli dakimakuras. This person used to be a Sin main, but realized they could get the same experience with more boobs. ![]() They switched to a character that hits like a truck and only has hitboxes that cover 90% of the area of the screen. This person used to be an Axl main, but realized if they kept pissing off their friends they’d have nobody left to play against. You immediately went online to look for a character that can hit across an entire screen without moving an inch. ![]() ![]() When your friends approached you with this Guilty Gear thing, you had doubts. – Also known as the person that’s too hipster to take the main character but that’s too lazy to look past the second character. You immediately went online to look for a character that’s strong AND fast AND has projectiles AND doesn’t require anything more than hadoken motions. You believe fighting games are too complicated. You also currently hold the record for most years in a row wearing the same Naruto costume for Halloween, with twelve years (and counting!) under your belt. You complain about strength weapons being too powerful in Dark Souls, and about Cloud’s sword being too big in Final Fantasy VII. You tell all your friends that slow zombies aren’t scary, while deep down you know you’re wrong. The one that believes The Flash could honestly stand a chance against Superman. You know, the kind that believes that just because a character is fast means it should be the best. Curious as to what I’m able to extract? Then keep on reading. The simple choice of main character actually offers a window into your world, from which very valuable information can be obtained. See, while you might think the decision to pick a character as your most played - your “main” - is totally innocuous, nothing could be further from the truth. With Guilty Gear Xrd -Revelator-‘s release on June 7, I figured I’d share some of my pearls of wisdom with the world.
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